Juxtapsition of Ministries

Looking for a Good Church?
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If you are confused about where to go to church, don't worry. You are not alone. There are so many different churches out there, gosh, how are you supposed to pick one? Some of the newest and exciting churches are: Megaphone churches, Emegent-cy Churches, Purposeful Driven Churches, Rock Churches (Harbor, Hills or just plain Rock); Some old favorite churches are Presbyterian Churches, The Crystal Cathedral, Vineyard Churches, Hopscotch Churches (or maybe it was foursquare, more research required, but either way, it sounds like a fun church); Englican Churches and The Druids.

In case you want to switch, or are just a little confused about which church is best for you, Swirlypine's research team is going to list some of the features of the best churches to help you decide. Who knows, you may even want to go to a different one each week! This weeks featured churches are "Revolution" by Jay Bakker (son of James Swaggart and Tamy Faye Fallwell) and The Englicans, who are from England and dress up funny.

Revolution meets at a night club called Masquerade, and their staff bios are so cool. They all list what bands they are into. Righteous! I don't think they have any doctrine, so it shouldn't be hard to join. They have tattoos and stuff, and seem real edgy. Check them out at http://www.vivalarevolution.org/news.htm to see some of their upcoming shows. The pastor smokes the cigar and can say the word "ass" on his website. I am sure he means it in the biblical sense. One of their upcoming shows is "Sitting on your Grace" Look out, R. C. Spradley, looks like he's goin' after all you stuffy reformed folks. Ha, ha, all in good fun. There's room for everyone in American Christianity, right?

The Englicans are also cool, because they are the only true church because they have all these rituals that only they can do and they have alot of old books and stuff, like Synods, Perishes, and Important Documents. They can say they are "Catholic" but not really Catholic, which is great. They also have the Apollo's Order (you didn't know they were involved withy NASA, I bet), Orthodox Worship and Evangelical Witness. They are also very unique, not to be confused with the Anglican Church OF America. They are The Anglican Church IN America. There's a huge difference between "OF" and "IN" and let me tell you, they will talk about it till they are blue in the face. Thats what all those Synods are for. They also say that Church Traditions are as fun as the Bible. I think they have the Bible still, but they have added a bunch of other books that are better, like "The Book of Common Prayer".

Anyway, we have saved you the trouble by compiling all the important facts and data right here in one convenient location. Maybe you could even go to "The Revolution" on Saturday night and St. Michaels Englican Church of England on Sunday morning? Would that be a kick?

JAY BAKKER'S "REVOLUTION"



church name: "Revolution"
ministry synopsis: "We're Cool"
Key Doctrinal Statement : Religion kills
Leadership: Jay Bakker, Son of Jim & Tammy Faye
Req'd ministry credentials: Must like the right bands
Church origin: Tattoos and Goth Rock
okay to smoke cigars?: Yes
Tattoos?: Yes
Piercings?: Yes
Next big event: Open Door Festival, Sherwood, AK
Current Hymnal: We don't have one, religion is evil



ANGLICAN CHURCH IN AMERICA



Church name: Anglican Church IN America (Not OF America)
Ministry synopsis: "We Haven't Changed"
Key Doctrinal Statement: Chicago/Lambeth Quadrilateral, 1888
Leadership: Archbishop Louis Falk, Primate of the ACA
Req'd ministry credentials: Be Orthodox
Church origin: The Affirmation of St Louis (1977)
Okay to smoke cigars?: Yes
Tattoos?: No
Piercings?: No
Next big event : Trienial National Synod
Current hymnal: 1940