Matthew 7:6 - "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you." Posting of ideas, criticism, and satire on Evangelical culture - From the inside.

Monday, September 05, 2005

More Battles for Everyman


Everyman's Battle with Not Having a Proverbs 31 Woman.
Everyman's Battle with Having a Proverbs 31 Woman.
Everyman's Battle with not having a Woman at all.
Everyman's Battle with not wanting a Woman at all.
Everymans Man Battle
Everymans Wo-man
Everymans Guide to Moving from Underroos to Boxers
Everymans Guide to Tighty Whities
Everymans Guide to Struggling against being All Things to All Men
Everyman's Struggle With Metrosexuality
Everyman's Guide to Understanding Roman's.
Everyman's Battle against Flanalgraphiostiosis
Everyman's Battle with Shrinkage
Everyman's Battle with thinking that shows like Jackass are really funny but none of his uptight Evangelical friends will admit they like them too.
Everyman's Struggle with not having a purpose driven life.
Everyman's Struggle with going to work only to find out that his boss and bosse's bosse's wives are making them read Purpose Driven Life
Everyman's Struggle with not knowing which direction to hand another brick.
Everyman's Struggle with the phrase "Joy is a 4 Letter Word"
Everman's Struggle with 4 letter Word's"
Everyman's Struggle with an old earth and the fact that God could use his relative time to create the universe in 1 billion years without having to give in to the concept of Human Evolution.
Everyman's Battle with Book of Lists while sitting on the throne.
Everyman's Battle with Househould Chores
Everyman's Battle with drinking a beer with the buddies but when mom and dad come over he quickly walks outside and dumps his beer in the trash then runs in and acts as if he was pulling weeds. Or something like that.
Everyman's Battle with having fellow Evangelical Friends that do not have an Everyman's Battle with Woman because they are not attracted with Woman.
Everyman's Battle with Turning 40.
Everyman's Battle with Turning 50.
Everyman's Battle with Picking His nose without the other drivers stuck on the morning westbound 22 noticing him.
Everyman's Battle with wanting to keep writing more and more everyman's battle satire but his wife want's him to put his 4 year old son to bed or else she will create a very special battle for him to battle with.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well...! Someone certainly needs to be put to bed here. I suspect it's time to tune up my paper shredder. This whole thing is starting to smak of John Oldridge. No one would pay ransom on this-- must be chapters from his latest creation. Condi just called and she is not in favor of all this battlin and strugglin with da women. Maybe Swirly should make this more family friendly. Oops--that's a bit too much like "seeker sensitive." We'll give this project about 40 days--time to get it down to the normal 12 steps--so purpose driven readers can get their alpha in gear for renovare. Your guessed editor does have Condi's number, so be sure to make this all gender neutral.... ugh!

10:18 PM

 

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